Return, Reject, Recognize, Release
by Samurai101
Summary: When Sasuke was young his genius older brother was kidnapped. Now that Sasuke's old his brother's coming back home. Things would be perfect, if the man returned hadn't been a blue eyed pacifist instead of the red-eyed ninja Sasuke was hoping for.
1. Sasuke

Sasuke's big brother was abducted by Iwa while he was on a mission when Sasuke was six. The war had ended six years ago, and no one wanted another war. Iwa refused to say they'd actually stolen the boy. The Uchiha refused to take it lying down. They demanded action--war. This was their genius the Iwa-nin had taken. They wanted him back. They were willing to risk war to get him back. Konoha was not.

Sasuke's clan was killed by his cousin Shisui when Sasuke was eight. Sasuke was spared for some reason. Shisui had always been like an older brother to him after Sasuke's real older brother had been taken away. That night he became a murderer and a missing-nin. Sasuke had nightmares for month and years afterwards of his cousin's madly whirling eyes with the strange sharingan in them.

Sasuke swore he'd kill Shisui and avenge his clan.

Sasuke was now twelve, already Gennin and on what he considered to be the worst team there had ever been. Sakura would be alright if she stopped mooing after him and started using her brain. Naruto....Naruto was a loss. He was wearing _orange_. He was supposed to be _sneaky_, and yet he was wearing orange. Someone, Sasuke thought, had obviously dropped Naruto on his head when he was small, or Naruto had eaten way too many glue sticks and sniffed too much paint while in the Academy.

Sasuke, of course, had dedicated his life to becoming great enough to kill his cousin. He had one goal, one purpose, and one passion in his life. He ate, breathed, lived, and slept that dream. He thought of little else, and could spend hours fantasizing about how he'd carry it out. He was going to kill Shisui one day, and that was all that mattered. He knew he had to focus his whole life into doing this, or he'd never make it.

It was December when Kakashi came only three minutes late to a team meeting. There was snow on the ground. Sasuke was wearing an old coat of his fathers, which was far too big but warm and comforting. Naruto was in orange as always, and Sakura had a pink coat and a green scarf. They all gave Kakashi a bewildered look as they stood in the new fallen snow, cheeks and noses getting nipped red by the cold air. Kakashi, they learned, was never good and being tactful.

"Sasuke, Iwa has agreed to return your brother."

Sasuke stared at Kakashi. He almost asked which brother, but then he remembered Itachi, in a vague, childish way--the pokes on the forehead, the cold voice, the gentle hands that helped him adjust his stances sometime, the soothing, no-nonsense voice that had comforted him when he'd had nightmares, the hand sticky with honey or sugar from Dango.

"Oh," Sasuke said, eyes a little wide than normal, but face over all impassive.

"Oh?" Sakura looked confused.

"OH!? They just promised to give your brother back! Be happy! Jump around! Scream! Cry! _Do something!_" Naruto grabbed Sasuke and shook him. Sasuke punched Naruto in the nose on reflex and sent him sprawling down into the snow. Naruto bounced right back up, giving Sasuke an incredulous look.

"Don't we have a mission to do today?" Sasuke asked, looking up at Kakashi. Kakashi looked down at Sasuke, and nodded, his own face an impassive mirror of Sasuke's. How could Sasuke be excited about seeing someone he didn't even remember that well?

The next day Sasuke was more excited. He realized, as he moved around the empty house he refused to leave, there would be someone else living in here with him. He wouldn't wake up and have to move through an empty house. He needed to air out Itachi's old room--clean it. Sasuke only kept the rooms he was living in clean. Itachi's room was probably filled with dust and stuff.

More importantly, he also realized that Itachi could help him avenge their clan. Itachi had been a child genius, hadn't he? With his help, taking Shisui down would be easy. he probably knew all sorts of tricks and techniques he could teach Sasuke to help the boy improve much faster than he was. Best of all, Itachi had the sharingan, which Sasuke still lacked.

Sasuke couldn't wait for his brother to get back.

They new year approached. Naruto approved of Sasuke's new found fervor for his brother, and Sakura said they should throw a party for the boy when he got here. Sasuke wasn't sure. Who would come? His teammates, of course, Naruto said. Sakura's eyes had that sparkley look, and Sasuke almost said no. He didn't want those two in his house, but....Itachi had liked sweets, hadn't he? Parties had sweet food at them, so....

Itachi was coming home. He'd arrived last night in Konoha.

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke spent a week getting things ready. The house needed to be clean. Itachi needed a new futon and bedding. The house needed more food if two people were going to be living here. The garden needed to be neatened up. Sasuke didn't want Itachi to think he'd been neglecting the house. There were decorations to put up, food to buy or make. Sakura got recipes, and they managed to make most of the food. Naruto, to everyone's shock, was the best cook of them all, if someone else could remember to get what he cooked out of the oven before it burned.

Kakashi came by the last day to tell them he was going to get Itachi from the ANBU and bring him home. Sasuke's brother had been in Konoha a week, and Sasuke hadn't been allowed to see him until now. Itachi had been gone six years, and Konoha was being very careful about letting him loose.

Sasuke couldn't sit still. All he could think about was his brother. Once he got his brother back they could start training to go after Shisui. It would be so much faster with Itachi's help. The clan would be avenged in no time, and then they could be a real family again.

Sakura and Naruto were running all around, Naruto in his painful orange pants and a black turtle neck, and Sakura in a dark red top and dark green skirt. She had pink tights on, and her slippery feet chased Naruto around, trying to make him sit, trying to make sure everything was ready, trying to make it all work out perfectly. Naruto was starting to give Sasuke a head-ache.

They all froze when they heard the shoji door rattle open. Then it was a free for all scramble for the door. Sakura grabbed Naruto and pulled him back, recognizing it was Sasuke's right to greet his brother first. Sasuke came sliding around the corner, welcome on his tongue, and excitement so screwed up in his chest he thought his heart might stop.

Beside Kakashi stood a man Sasuke had never seen. His face was thin and almost delicate. His hair was soot black and long. It was pulled back in a thick braid that fell down to his waist. His clothes were a hakama and black pants tucked into boots. He looked up as Sasuke came around the corner, and Sasuke froze. His welcome died and grew cold. The excitement twisted into bitter disappointment in his chest.

"That's not my brother," Sasuke said. Kakashi looked surprised, and the stranger looked up at Sasuke, eyes half lidded.

"Yes Sasuke, this is Uchiha Itachi. It's been a while since you've seen him. I'm not surprised you don't recognize him," Kakashi coaxed. He put a hand on Itachi's shoulders. Itachi didn't take his eyes off of Sasuke. Sasuke wished he would.

"Hey Sasuke! Go say hi to you brother! Tell him we've got a party waiting and everything!" Naruto insisted, prodding Sasuke in the back. "Go on. He won't bite." The stranger looked between Sasuke and Naruto, and then back at Sakura.

"He's not my brother!" Sasuke whipped around and slapped Naruto's hand away from him. "He's not my brother! Iwa lied! That's not Itachi!" Sasuke broke, shoving past Kakashi and the man he brought, out into the snow. He heard Sakura and Naruto shouting after him, but he kept going.

Itachi's eyes were blue.

----

When Sasuke came home the house was dark. The food leftovers had been put away. He guiltily took some and ate it. He didn't know where his brother was. He didn't care anymore. The man Kakashi had brought home was not his brother. It was impossible.

Sasuke padded over to Itachi's door. He opened it slowly and peered in. The stranger was sitting against the back wall. He looked up as Sasuke opened the door. Sasuke flinched and snapped the door shut. He stalked off to his room. No, that defiantly wasn't Itachi. It wasn't his brother.

----

"Sasuke."

Sasuke looked up. The stranger was wearing black today, like Itachi used to. It made the blue of his pale eyes stand out more. In that face--pale with black, black hair it looked out of place. The blue was pale--almost like Ino's, but maybe a shade or two darker. Sasuke didn't know. It wasn't like he was staring or anything.

Sauske looked away, shuffling his feet into his boots. There was more snow on the ground. They'd probably be shoveling snow today. "What?"

"Have a good day."

Sasuke glanced back, and the stranger was gone, back off into the depth of the empty house. Sasuke had thought that having this person in the house might make it feel more like the home he remembered, but it didn't. The home Sasuke remembered had a mother and a father and a cousin, at times. There were no brothers in it, and Sasuke had been a fool to think that having a stranger in the house would make it any less empty.

----

"Why do you hate your brother?" Naruto asked, muffled by his scarf. It was cold this year, and there was snow everywhere. Sasuke never remembered there being this much snow in the village before. Most Gennin teams were being paid to shovel it. Kakashi, nursing a thermos of some hot beverage he never shared, said it would be good for building muscles. So far it was good for falling and bruising and annoying things like snowballs.

"I don't, and he's not my brother," Sasuke grunted back as he threw some snow over his shoulder. "Stop hounding me. If you like him so much, he can live with you."

"Dude, do you think Konoha's get the wrong person back?" Naruto snorted. "Even I'm not that stupid. If they say it's your brother, then it's your brother."

"He's not--"

"Sasuke-kun.........even if he's been gone a long time, and you don't remember him so well, he is your brother," Sakura pointed out. "Aren't you happy to have part of your family back?"

"Yeah! Your own flesh and blood, so you can be nice to him, ya know! He's a nice guy!" Naruto shouted as he carried off a pile of snow.

"He's not. He's not my--he's not an Uchiha. Did you see his _eyes_? Itachi had the sharingan. He got it really young, and he was a genius! That guy's eyes--there's no way he's my brother!" Sasuke spat at them, fed up with their insistences. What did they know anyway? They didn't know anything.

"Why does that matter?" Naruto countered, walking back up the drive with his shovel. "Okay, his eyes are different, but how does that make him any less your brother?"

"You moron, it means--"

"Break time!" Kakashi called from his position on the roof. He peered down at his Gennin with an eye smile. Sasuke scowled and stomped off. He heard Naruto grumbling to Sakura he still didn't see why Sasuke was so hung up over his brother's eyes. They were just eyeballs.

Naruto was an idiot.

----

The stranger had one good thing about him. He could cook. Sasuke ate his supper in silence, watching the stranger warily across the table. The stranger ate his food slowly, and sometimes his chopsticks trembled in his hands. Sasuke watched that weakness with a disparaging eye.

"You haven't asked me," The stranger spoke in a soft voice, almost a whisper. The stranger always spoke like that--gentle, soft, and in way that should be barely audible but was perfectly easy to hear.

"Asked you what?" Sasuke asked, looking up slowly. He met blue eyes with black, and wished there was red somewhere in the mix--anywhere.

The stranger took a bite of his rice and chewed slowly. "What happened to my eyes."

Sasuke took a bite of his food and chewed. He took another bite. "What happened?"

The stranger ate. "They took them. What the wanted from me was the sharingan, after all. They implanted them in two likely candidates two months after I was taken. Like Kakashi-sempai with Obito-kun's eye."

"Oh." Sasuke picked at his food. He bit his lips and tried to keep from asking anymore questions. "Why did they give you new ones?"

The stranger didn't look up from the food and the table. "They had problems. Like Kakashi-sempai, the candidates could not turn their sharingan off, and their chakra networks were not capable of using the sharingan for very long without a severe drain on their reserves. One died of chakra exhaustion. They asked me if I could show them how to make it work.

"I'd been blind six months." The strangers hands were shaking. "I told them I would tell them what I knew, if they'd give me new eyes. They did. I told them. They chose blue." The stranger motioned towards his eyes.

"You told them!?" Sasuke's hands slammed down onto the table, scattering bowls and plates and food. The stranger jerked, looking up at Sasuke with wide eyes. "You told them clan secrets!? You told them how to use the sharingan! You betrayed the clan! I can't believe you would--"

"Have you ever been totally blind, Sasuke?" The stranger soft voice cut through Sasuke's voice. "Have you ever lived your life, not being able to see where you are, who's in the room with you, where they've taken you, what's going on, or anything of that sort? Have you ever lived knowing you'll only ever see darkness, and your last chances of escape or life have been ripped from you?"

"You-you shouldn't have told them! Betraying the clan is--"

"Highest treason? The worst thing ever? Even after I told them what I knew, that man was no match for an Uchiha. There's no way the sharingan can be used by a non-Uchiha to the best of it's advantage. I was trying to survive, Sasuke, and I did. Would you rather I had died in that Hell hole they called a cell?"

"Rather than betray your clan? Yes!" Sasuke shouted, rising to his feet. "This clan has enough traitors in it without you!"

"That's right. Two thirds of the Uchiha clan are traitors now, isn't that right?" The stranger started eating again, ignoring Sasuke's outburst. "It must be hard being the only true Uchiha, Sasuke. Are you going to obsessively plan my death as well?" The stranger's voice dropped. His hands flipped the chopsticks around in his hand, pointing the end towards himself.

"Shall I save you the trouble, little brother, and rid you of my dissapointment?" The stranger asked, tone suddenly bitter and biting. Sasuke stared down, and he was suddenly breathless. He looked at the pale neck, and the line his mind made between the chopsticks and the throat. He could see that long, fine instrument slamming through the jugular--a very painful way to die to be sure.

"I wanted you to help me kill him," Sasuke muttered. He clenched his hands and looked down. "I thought you'd have the sharingan, and you could...." Sasuke reached up an hand and rubbed at the tears gathering in his eyes. "I thought you were going to make it _right_."

"You are a true Uchiha, Sasuke. You're caught up in their greatest vice, and can't see what really matters." The stranger stood, dropping his chopsticks. "Clean up, please. I'm going to bed."

----

The stranger and Sasuke didn't talk. The house was even more silent and lonely than before. It was cold. Inside, outside, everywhere. It was cold.

"So, did you make up with your brother?" Naruto asked. They were on a stake-out, waiting for a caravan to move out so they could swoop in and steal some artifact.

"No, and why do you care?" Sasuke asked in a low voice, eyes on the caravan.

"Well, 'cause Itachi-san's a nice person, and he seems to really want to get along with you, you know?" Naruto scratched at his obnoxiously bright head. Seriously, how did he ever hide anywhere? How did his eyes not melt and drain out of his ear from the hideous color clash he had to face every morning in the mirror?

"How would you know that?" Sasuke kept his eyes on the target. It wouldn't do to get distracted now.

"'Cause, he came and asked me'n Sakura and Kakashi-sensei about you. Like, what you like to eat, or do when you're not training, and stuff like that. He bought me ramen, and told me he liked my jacket," Naruto chirped, beaming.

Sasuke snorted. "Your jacket's an eyesore. He was just saying that to be polite."

"Na-uh," Naruto hissed. Sasuke punched him in the arm.

"Shut up and move, we gotta go," Sasuke hissed. Naruto scrambled, and they slid off through the snow. Sasuke tried to put the conversation out of his head, but he couldn't.

----

"What did you mean, when I said I was caught up in the Uchiha's greatest vice?" Sasuke asked, leaning against the door of Itachi's room. The stranger was moving things around--folding clothes and fussing thing into an order he liked. Sasuke watched with eyes that tried to be impassive.

The stranger didn't even look up. "Revenge. The whole clan seems to have been obsessed with it, and they've passed it on to you."

Sasuke bristled. "That's not--"

"What got them killed, Sasuke? They refused to stop crying for revenge to be taken on Iwa for one lost little boy, and look where that got them. Had they been able to look past what they'd lost to what they still had they might still be alive today," The stranger said, hands busy. "Shisui saw they were pushing Konoha towards a war, and he acted as he saw fit."

"They didn't want to give up on you! How can you criticize them for not giving up on getting one of their own back?" Sasuke asked.

"Two years after I was captured, they should have given up on me, Sasuke. I was probably dead. I _was_ blind. It was a miracle I was left alive so long after they took the sharingan from me. The clan knew the chances of getting me back alive. They didn't want me back. I read every single demanding letter, and they wanted Iwa to suffer. Oh yes, they wanted their precious genius back, but they wanted Iwa to bleed to. Just getting me back wasn't enough. It wasn't me they were after," The stranger stopped and looked up at Sasuke. "And you're just the same."

"So I should just forget about Shisui and what he did to me?" Sasuke asked, blood boiling. "I should forget avenging my entire clan? I should just let him get away with what he did?"

"No, but killing him isn't what you should do. You want revenge, Sasuke, not justice. If you really wanted justice, you'd wait for an order, or bring Shisui back to Konoha to face their justice. You just want him to suffer like you have." The stranger's voice was sharp and clipped, but still soft. His hands never stopped moving. "You're just as blind as the rest of the clan--caught up in the past and revenge and too blinded by all of that to see what you have."

"I don't have anything," Sasuke scowled. "I'm an--"

"Avenger. A spoiled child no one's had the heart to tell you'll never catch Shisui. He's a genius. He's so much older than you, you really have no chance of catching him before someone else kills him, and if you go after him too soon, you'll end up dead." The stranger stacked his clothes away and stood, looking down at Sasuke. "You have a team that would love you like family if you let them. You have a brother back who's been missing half your life, but all you want is to get back at the man who wronged you."

The stranger walked past Sasuke. "I'm not going to help you with Shisui. I've been a prisoner so long I'm no longer fit for ninja duty, and my skills have deteriorated. I wouldn't have been any help to you anyway. Sorry to disappoint you, outouto."

Sasuke sat on the floor and stared across the room at the fussily neat room. He wished it were still an empty mess.

----

"You've been quiet. Something wrong?" Kakashi asked. The snow was melting. It was finally getting warm.

"We don't get along. He can't help me," Sasuke said. "He's useless."

"So, he should be discarded?" Kakashi wasn't looking at Sasuke, but at Sakura and Naruto, who were sparring. Sakura was going to win. Her control was better.

"He's just taking up space. He's not--he's not helping me," Sasuke repeated.

"Hmmm," Kakashi rubbed his nose. "It's easy to move forward when you leave everything behind. It's far harder to press on when you have to carry someone." Kakashi paused in his cryptic words. "Perhaps, Sasuke, you should stop looking for ways for your brother to help you, and turn around and help him first. You could learn something very important."

"That doesn't make any sense..." Sauske groused. He looked back to his teammates, and saw Sakura flip Naruto to the ground. Sasuke stood and walked towards them. It was his turn now.

----

Sasuke stood in Itachi's doorway. The stranger was asleep. His hair was tangled around his head, falling from its braid. His face was drawn, and the bedding around him was drenched in sweat. Sasuke watched the stranger's lips moving, making words and small, silent sounds. Sasuke leaned against the shoji. It would be easy just to walk away now, like he'd done every other time the strangers dreams had woken Sasuke up.

Sasuke stepped into the room. He walked across the clean floor and crouched down by the bed. He hesitated. He could see the bedding was wet with sweat. The stranger washed his bedding a lot. It was already starting to look worn. Sasuke bit his lip.

Sasuke reached down and touched the stranger's quivering shoulder. The blue eyes flashed open, and the mouth gasped hard at the air. "Nii-san, wake up, you were having a bad dream." Sasuke whispered, recalling a voice doing the same for him in the very distant and dim past.

_Turn around and help him first._

The blue eyes rolled over to look up at Sasuke's face. They were wide and frantic. A hand clutched at Sasuke's as the eyes calmed, and Itachi's lips pulled into a small smile.

----

"Your stance is wrong."

Sasuke looked up sharply, a glare in his eyes. "But you said you weren't a ninja anymore."

Itachi shrugged, a lazy smile on his face as he sat on the porch and watched Sasuke do his kata in the newly blooming garden. "I said my skills had deteriorated. I never said I'd gone senile enough to forget something as simple as that. Move your left foot to the right and raise your right arm an inch."

"That's all that was off?" Sasuke asked, shooting his brother a look.

"'All'? Do you know how much a difference it makes for your balance if you move those two things? Now, do it, you'll see."

Sasuke scowled as did as his annoying brother suggested. He blinked as he felt the difference. It was such a small thing, but....

"I told you," Itachi almost sang. Sasuke glanced over and saw the blue eyes were smirking along with the lips.

Sasuke sent his brother a smouldering glare and went on in his kata. Maybe Kakashi had been right. There was more talk now--more warmth in the cold house that had nothing to do with the spring air. Itachi didn't sleep until noon most days, trying to make up for sleep lost to nightmares. He didn't wash his bedding half as much.

"Sasuke, you're doing it wrong," Itachi called.

"Will you stop that!" Sasuke shouted back, whirling around. "I'm _trying_ to practice! If you think you can do it, get out here and do it!"

Itachi blinked. "I'm not a ninja anymore. Why would I do that?" Sasuke snarled, and pounced. Itachi caught him, ninja or not his reflexes were amazing. He flipped his little brother onto the porch and sat on him. It was frustrating when Itachi did this. He showed he still had skill. He could trounce Sasuke if he'd just get up and try, but he didn't. He wasn't a ninja anymore. He's left that life behind him, and he showed no signs of ever wanting to go back.

Months earlier, Sasuke would have been hounding Itachi to become a ninja again--to put his skills to good use and help bring Shisui to justice, but he was only tempted to mention it once in a while. He actually looked at Itachi, blue eyes, crooked teasing smiles, and when he thought about it he couldn't see why he should force Itachi into something else when he was happy now. He couldn't remember Itachi ever smiling before.

He couldn't forget the vengeance he wanted to take on Shisui. He couldn't put that aside totally, but he thought about it less. He talked about things besides ninja business and his obsession with Itachi, Sakura, and even sometimes Naruto. He thought he might smile more, but he wasn't sure. Something felt different. When he sat to eat with his brother he didn't feel anxious about the empty house, or how he was going to kill Shisui. He didn't have the urge to practice until he was too tired to move. He'd lost the sense of panicked urgency to get _good enough_ that had run his life since the massacre.

He didn't know if that was a good thing or not, but he knew one thing for certain.

"_Nii-san,_ I can't _breathe_."

Itachi laughed.

* * *

**A/N: Written for the Naruto_Meme at LJ. I had a blast with this, and am sorely tempted to expand upon this idea a little more if enough people are interested. **


	2. Itachi

When Itachi was eleven, he was taken captive by Iwa. Two months in their possession, and he'd lost his eyes, the pride of his clan. They took them from him, leaving him only bloody, gaping holes. Eight months into his imprisonment he had eyes back, blue ones that saw in drab color and more light than Itachi had ever seen. He'd also lost hope of ever being released. He was going to rot in his cell, alone, cold, but at least he could see. Thank all the gods and devils he could _see._

When Itachi was eighteen, after seven years of captivity, he was sent back to Konoha. He stayed in ANBU headquarters for a week, answering questions, and learning more than he told. His clan was dead. His cousin Shisui had done it. His brother was the only one alive. Itachi didn't want to be a ninja anymore. He told them that flatly, with his blue eyes cold, and they agreed. He wasn't fit to be a ninja anymore.

He was hardly fit to be a brother, but two broken people could put each other back together. They had to. No one else had the missing pieces. Itachi would never be whole again, but at least, with Sasuke's help, he could function. Nightmares became less, Sasuke stopped spitting hate every time he turned around, and maybe it was a life. Maybe it was peace. Maybe it was sanity rearing it's ugly, docile head. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Itachi hoped it was. He was sick of screaming inside his own head.

"Nii-san, I'm leaving," Sasuke said from the doorway. Itachi looked up from his position on the edge of the porch. Sasuke had a pack over his shoulder. It was another mission. Sasuke was a ninja, and he would never be swayed from that path. Itachi wasn't going to even try that.

"How long will you be gone?" Itachi asked, gathering himself off the floor with grace that his training and breeding had supplied him. He would never say it, but he hated it when Sasuke went away on a mission. He hated it. The house was an empty shell for days, and there was only Itachi to speak to the shadows. There were so many shadows, and they all reached for him and spoke to him.

"I don't know. We have to find Tsunade and convince her to be Hokage," Sasuke shrugged. "But Naruto's going to be there, and I can't see anyone standing up to his nagging for very long, can you?" Sasuke tipped his head to the side, and his sour face turned into an almost smile as he looked up at his brother. It wasn't adoration, as it had once been, but it was comfort.

Itachi hated the answer Sasuke had given him. "Be careful, and keep Naruto out of trouble." Itachi placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, and then, with a careful motion, as if afraid one of them would get hurt, folded his brother to his chest for a light hug. Sasuke's bristly hair poked Itachi's chin, and the smell of metal, sulfer, and boy pressed against Itachi's senses. Sasuke's arms came up in a stuttering motion, and he gripped the back of Itachi's shirt with the same hesitance Itachi showed. It was hard to know how hard you could hold onto someone.

"Sakura will be here--I told her it was okay for her to come visit you, if she got lonely," Sasuke said as he ducked his head and pulled away. Itachi looked at his brother, and he couldn't tell if that had been done for him, or for Sakura. Sasuke was, thankfully, much closer to his teammates now. They came over a bit, with their loud voices and bright faces. If there was something good for supper, Kakashi came sometimes too. Kakashi was a comfort.

"I'll be here if she needs me," Itachi promised his little brother as they stepped away from each other.

"Will you walk to the gate with me--to see us off? Kakashi-sensei and Sakura are going to be there..." Sasuke scuffed a foot on the floor. Itachi nodded, accepting the borrowed time.

"Let me get my shoes."

---

Itachi took a long walk before he returned home. He went to look at the destruction Sounds recent attack had brought down on Konoha. Buildings were going back up. What effected Itachi most was Sandaime's death, and Sasuke's absence, caused by the decrease of ninja fit for duty. Almost too often there was an empty house. Itachi felt the echos as he walked in. It was coming on dusk now, and the house was a study of shadows, eating up the walls, into the corners, under all the furniture.

Itachi slipped off his shoes and pushed his hair over his shoulder. He'd left it down today. The thick fall stayed in place well enough it didn't bother him much. It further separated him from the image of the ninja brother Sasuke had. He didn't look anything like the Uchiha genius anymore. Itachi sighed and moved through the house. He went to his room and grabbed up the block of ash he'd been working with and his knife. He took it out onto the porch to soak up the last of the sunshine.

Whittling had become Itachi's hobby. He needed something to do, and the wood work required dexterous hands and a comfortable feel for a sharp object. Itachi had that, and a sharp eye for detail. He mostly made children's toys--animal figurines and small people. Sometimes there were flowers, trees, and nonsense shapes that could be strung on string. Sakura liked to play with those, putting them on braided leather or ribbon. Itachi let her. She was a darling little child, and indulgence was all right.

Itachi sank down onto the sun warmed, for worn boards of the porch. He breathed out slowly, finding his center and washing himself over in calm. It was hard sometimes to do that. Mostly it was hard after the nightmares yanked him from sleep and left him with the taste of dirt in his mouth. Today, in the afternoon sun and the empty house, it was fairly easy. Itachi placed his knife on the wood, and glanced sideways, senses picking up on movement.

Itachi froze.

A man stood on the porch. His black hair stuck up in unruly, curly, spikes. His face was pale, his eyes outlined in heavy lashes. His frame was hidden under a cloak. His red eyes were wider than normal, swirling pupils in their depth. Itachi took a sharp breath, and his mouth opened for a word or a name.

Shisui beat him to it. "'Tachi."

---

Sasuke opened the door and stared up into the face of Shisui. His sharingan activated, his body tensed and drew back. Fear flew through him, and he wanted to slam the door and go hide. He didn't. He looked at the black and red cloak, mouth pressing into a tight line.

"Ne, Sasuke, who is it?" Naruto asked coming to his friends shoulder.

Sasuke leaned back, putting his shoulder against Naruto's. "Uchiha Shisui."

Shisui's mouth couldn't be seen behind his cloak, but Sasuke remembered the pleasant smile that had to be spreading across it, crooking up the corners of his eyes. "Sasuke-kun, my how you've grown."

---

Shisui approached, feet rapping at the wood as he approached. Itachi didn't move, just watched the inevitable approach. Shisui looked down at him.

"Blue eyes."

"Yes."

"They took your eyes."

"Yes."

"You told them how to use the sharingan, so they gave you new eyes."

"Yes."

Shisui knelt down. His hand came out to touch Itachi's chin. He caught it between calloused fingers and thumb, turning Itachi's head to the side as he looked at the blue eyes in a different light. Itachi kept those eyes on Shisui's face. Shisui's eyes wandered down to Itachi's hands, which were gripping the whittling knife and half formed block of wood.

"A hobby?"

Itachi took a short breath. "I need something to do with my time." He didn't say he wasn't a ninja anymore. He could tell Shisui knew that.

"Ah," Shisui's fingers released Itachi's chin. He looked down at his younger cousin. "Fugaku-sama said you'd be useless after what they put you through. I argued you wouldn't. I thought you were stronger than this."

Itachi turned his head up. "Strong enough for revenge, Shi-nii-san? If that's your measure of strength and worth, I'm nothing."

Shisui glanced back. There was no one behind them. Shisui settled onto the porch. Itachi turned his eyes back to his work, fingers moving without a quiver. There was silence before Shisui spoke, words forming in the air in a jumbled tangle Itachi had been waiting to hear. Shisui painted a clumsy picture of greys and reds that made Itachi feel like a priest at confession.

He looked over at his former favorite cousin--now his only and favorite still by default. "How long can you keep it up, Shisui? How long before you break wide open and spill it all out? You don't love Konoha enough to keep this up."

Shisui's face was haunted by a smile. "I never loved anyone enough to keep this up. I just can't find a way to quit. I can't find anything anymore."

Itachi sat silent. If Shisui was looking for absolution, he was going to have to look elsewhere. Itachi was not one to forgive the sins that were committed to others. He didn't have the right. Itachi heard heavy feet on the wood of the porch. Itachi turned to look, and saw a hulking figure approach. The man's mouth split open in a jagged smile. Shisui looked back at the man and then looked to Itachi.

His hand caught Itachi's throat. Shisui's eyes swirled and black bled over the red in a pattern Itachi didn't know. Itachi tense, instincts fighting in him. He had a knife in his hands. He could use it. Shisui knew it. He didn't.

"You're useless."

---

Sasuke hit the wall. Naruto was screaming. Shisui was looking between the two, bloody eyes politely impassive. He was smiling--Sasuke knew that. Shisui had that pleasant little smile he wore, and he was wearing it now behind his cloak. Sasuke staggered to his feet.

"I was surprised to find out you house wasn't empty, Sasuke-kun," Shisui spoke, and his voice was nothing but pleasant. Kisame had Naruto neatly taken care of, pinned under that giant sword of his. Sasuke felt his stomach drop out of his body. His heart stopped. Shisui hadn't--he couldn't have....

"I'm amazed you keep him around. He's only holding you back."

Sasuke's head was spinning.

"He was useless."

Sasuke's mouth was a dry. He'd expected anger--rage at Shisui's words. He didn't. He felt hollow and cold and terrified. If Itachi was gone there was only Shisui and Sasuke and the horrible revenge hanging between them. Sasuke knew that would be his only reason to live. There was Naruto, and Sakura, but he couldn't shove his clan's revenge in the closet for them. He wasn't that strong.

"No." Sasuke struggled with words around the blood in his mouth. "He wasn't...."

"He was hindering you. You only need one focus if you're ever going to get strong enough to beat me. He'd gone soft and was no help to you. He was making you soft" Shisui reported calmly. All the past tense was making Sasuke's heart ache. This was Itachi they were talking about. This was the man that had managed to will away Sasuke vengeful fervor even in his weakened state. This was Sasuke's childhood idol. This was impossible.

"Why did you kill him? What challenge was he? Why couldn't you just leave him _alone?_" Sasuke shouted through the haze of blood in his mouth. "Why did you have to kill him too?"

"He was hindering you," Shisui repeated. "You only have yourself to blame. If you had stayed true to your path as an avenger, I could have let your worthless brother live." The world fell out from under Sasuke, and Shisui's red eyes ate him up. It was his fault, and the hot press of those eyes twisting in his mind left no room for doubt.

Itachi was dead because of him.

---

This was all his fault. He was beginning to see it all now. If he'd been stronger, this wouldn't have happened. If he'd kept on with his path instead of curling up in the fetal position and taking the easy way out, none of this would have happened. He stared at the black hair across the white sheets. The skin of the body in front of him was only a bit less pale than the sheets.

He took a breath, swallowing the stale air. His chest hurt. He was twisted up in guilt and denial. He didn't want any of this. He knew--_knew_ he was to blame, and he knew what he could do to fix this, but he didn't want to do it. He didn't know if he could anymore. It would be hard--maybe even impossible. He was scared.

Kakashi walked in. Itachi looked up at the older man. Kakashi looked down at Sasuke and looked over at Itachi. They both knew what had happened. Itachi looked over at Sasuke, his lips folding into thin white lines.

"I could have kept this from happening," Itachi intoned, eyes on his brother's still form. Kakashi said nothing, but he didn't need to. Itachi could hear the truth in his own words. "If I hadn't taken the easy way and stepped down from being a ninja, I could have stopped Shisui from getting to Sasuke, and he wouldn't be here."

"That's possible," Kakashi sais, and Itachi knew what the man was really asking was 'why is that relevant now?'

"Shisui still out there."

"He is."

"He could come back one day, and the same thing will happen to Sasuke." Itachi spoke, and again Kakashi was silent. Itachi looked up to Kakashi with his wide blue eyes. "I thought I could stand being weak, but I was wrong. I don't care what happens to me, but Sasuke...." Itachi looked back at his fallen little brother.

"They might not reinstate you," Kakashi observed in his ever absent voice. Itachi shook his head.

"I don't care if they do. I don't want to be a ninja. I just want...." Itachi looked at Sasuke harder, and he took a half breath. "I don't want to sit here again, knowing if _I_ hadn't crawled away to hide from the world and my scars, my little brother wouldn't be hurting.

"He's helped me so much, and the least I can do is protect him while he needs it."

Kakashi was silent for several long minutes. "You want me to help you train to get back in fighting condition--all to protect Sasuke from Shisui?"

Itachi nodded. "I hate fighting. I like not having to do it, but I've been a fool to think that was the right thing for me to do. It was selfish, and easy." Itachi looked up at Kakashi, his expression wry. "And you know the right thing is hardly ever easy."

It was Kakashi's turn to nod. "Tomorrow morning, then." He turned with a wave, and Itachi turned his blue eyes back to Sasuke. He was terrified of tomorrow.

---

Itachi wasn't unfit. He still kept in shape, but imprisonment had warped his mind and body. He wanted to flinch from blows instead of block them. He wanted to avoid pain. He wanted to get away from sight and threat. He was worse than he'd been as a gennin. He'd never been afraid to take a blow. He was fine with structured combat--the kata with its planned blows and politeness, but once Kakashi got serious it all fell apart.

Itachi whimpered and cowered from the punch Kakashi pulled. Itachi's cheeks flushed with shame, and it was all he could do to look up at Kakashi. Itachi felt lower than dirt. He hated the feeling crawling in his guts, and the fact he was shaking with fear. This was one of the reasons he hadn't wanted to be a ninja anymore. He'd spent too many formative years under the oppressive care of Iwa, and it showed. His mentality had changed, and this pressing of all his terrors and instincts to the surface was disrupting the perilous calm he'd managed to cultivate since arriving back home.

Most of that had been an act. If Itachi acted calm, he was a little calmer. He knew he was capable of panic attacks and mindless terror, but all that had been controlled since he'd come back. It was only the nightmares that plagued him--first nightly and then less and less. If he had one a week it was surprising--it had been surprising. The training with Kakashi was bringing everything out, and Itachi had nightmares more often. There was no Sasuke to wake him now. Sasuke was comatose in a hospital bed.

That image got Itachi off the ground--out of bed, and made him insist Kakashi come at him again, and Itachi would block this time. This was all for Sasuke. Itachi would do this for no one else--not even himself. He would have been happy to whittle away his life. He didn't like to fight, and he would have let people run roughshod over him if they wanted to. He could deal with abuse.

He could not deal with the sick feeling seeing Sasuke hurt and knowing he could have done something to prevent it.

Itachi flinched as another blow connected. He steadied himself and looked Kakashi in the eye. "Again."

---

Itachi hit the ground. Kakashi had changed tactics. He wasn't going to coddle Itachi. He wasn't going to coax. That was getting them nowhere fast. He might, however, kill Itachi.

Itachi was breathing hard, stinging all over from pain, and weak with adrenalin. He scrambled--scrambled like an animal to his feet and brought up a shaky defense that Kakashi beat down. Itachi bled--blood in his mouth and nose, flowing out of him like a bright stream of thought.

Kakashi was trying to break through the terror. Kakashi was trying to make Itachi deal with the pain and threat and respond like he was really going to die. Somewhere, buried under all of that fear was a ninja. Kakashi was going to beat it out of Itachi. Itachi was going to try to dig it out. Neither of them was having much luck. Itachi hit the hard ground again, tasting dirt and blood and he was frozen. He was in a dungeon, rocks all around, blood and vomit and dirt crushed and mixed in his mouth--

Kakashi's foot caught Itachi in the ribs, flipping him over. Itachi rolled to his feet, lashing out. He hit Kakashi's block, and for a moment they were stunned into silent stillness.

Then Kakashi brought Itachi to the ground again. And again. And again. And again.

Itachi spat dirt and blood and ground sand between his teeth, but, for every time Kakashi knocked him down, Itachi got back onto his feet.

---

Itachi dodged, his body shuddering with an aborted flinch. He was filled to the brim with a screaming hysteria that had him moving all the time. If he stopped moving then he would freeze up. His wide blue eyes tracked Kakashi's movements, straining to reached the clarity and quickness of his lost sharingan. It couldn't, but he tried. He tried everything these days, and he always faltered and fell short.

Kakashi knocked him to the ground. Itachi bounced back up, bruises and bedraggled but he was used to that. He'd never had to work so hard for _anything_ in his life. He was so exhausted at night he didn't dream anymore. He hardly had time to think. Kakashi was pushing Itachi to and edge, and Itachi was pushing Kakashi to push him over that edge.

Kakashi took a hit. Itachi's muscles burned with fatigue, and his legs threatened time and time again to give out on him. They didn't. He and Kakashi had been at this for hours. Itachi was learning to get lost in the movement, and focus on nothing more than dodging, hitting, and relearning everything he'd known. He didn't know why Kakashi was still here, pushing his former comrade and now student's brother.

_There_--Itachi saw an opening. He grabbed Kakashi's arm, and in a disorienting pull and flip, he had his teacher on the ground, pinned. For a moment all he could do was breath, feeling Kakashi's muscle bunch under him. The man was going to try to throw Itachi off. Itachi jammed a knee into Kakashi's back, and he had the other man. For once, Itachi had won.

"Itachi-san!" Sakura's high voice shattered the air. Itachi turned to see her waving to them. "Tsunade's here! She's going to wake up Sasuke!"

---

Someone was crying. Itachi's head came up and around. He walked through the house, padding through shadows and scattered them with his candle. He opened Sasuke's door and found the boy fighting with his sheets, trying to get loose from them and the nightmare that wrapped around his mind. Itachi set down the candle and folded himself onto the floor. He grabbed Sasuke's shoulder, giving the boy a sharp shake.

"Sasuke!" Itachi snapped the name out, and Sasuke's eyes snapped open, body jerking into wakefulness. Sasuke went limp, gasping and red eyes darting around trying to find the threat his mind still insisted was there. Tsunade said there was only so much she could heal. The rest would take time. Sasuke's eyes landed on Itachi, and he stopped searching.

"You were having another nightmare," Itachi said, though that much was obvious and didn't need to be said. Sasuke gave Itachi a look, and his eyes faded out to grey. Itachi settled himself more firmly on the floor and looked his little brother over. Physically, Sasuke looked about the same. Mentally, he was still suffering from Shisui's Tsukiyomi. He had nightmares, and he looked haunted during the daylight hours.

Sasuke sat up slowly, back hunched and tired. He wasn't getting enough sleep, and it bothered Itachi to see his little brother so drained. Itachi reached forward and ran his hand over Sasuke's head, smoothing down the spiked back just to have it pop back up into its original position. Itachi smoothed it again and held it down.

"You really should to something about your hair--it looks like the wrong end of a duck," Itachi admonished, watching as the unruly strands began fighting their way back up into spikes.

Sasuke snorted. "Well, yours makes you look like a girl, so we're even."

"How is that worse than looking like a duck's back end?" Itachi asked. Sasuke's hair sprung defiantly back into position, and Itachi left it alone. It would never change. Sasuke would probably be an old man with his hair still the same. That was a comfort to Itachi. He knew Sasuke would change as he grew, but he would still be Sasuke in many ways. He would still be Itachi's little brother.

Sasuke gave a little shiver, and Itachi shot him a look. The room was filled with the hollow echo of a nightmare. Itachi knew the feeling, and the haunted shadows the candle danced across the ceiling were never going to help. Itachi stood, gathering his candle, and mussing Sasuke's messy head. "Let's go have some tea."

Sasuke gave Itachi an incredulous look, but he slipped out of his futon and followed Itachi off into the kitchen, where they made tea in silence, and Itachi made sure the kitchen was full of light. They sat on the floor to drink the tea, pot between them. Itachi nursed his like it was ambrosia, and Sasuke just sipping, soaking the heat into his hands.

"What happened to your fingers?" Sasuke asked, motioned to Itachi right index and middle finger, which were wrapped and sticking out awkwardly. Itachi looked at the fingers too and shrugged.

"I hurt them punching Kakashi-sempai in the face," Itachi reported blandly. Sasuke spluttered into his tea, eyes going round as saucers.

"Really?"

Itachi nodded. "It was not one of our better moments, but Kakashi's nose was not broken. He's taking a break until the swelling in his eye goes down." Itachi sipped his tea, and his lips curled around the edge. No one could doubt Itachi was finally getting some of his old skill back. He was beginning to see he'd never be what he had been, but he didn't want to be that anymore.

Sasuke looked horrified and vastly amused. He looked down at his hands and then back up at Itachi. His expression was changed. "Why're you doing this now? You said you didn't want to be a ninja anymore." There was an accusation in Sasuke's voice.

"I don't, and I'm not going to be a ninja," Itachi said softly. He looked Sasuke in the eyes, grey to blue. "I told you, I was captive too long to be trusted as a Konoha-nin anymore."

"So why are you doing this--going out to train with Kakashi and doing kata and all of that?" Sasuke pressed.

"Because of what happened to you. I don't want to be a ninja. I don't want to fight. If I only had myself to worry about Sasuke, I wouldn't be doing this. Because I was weak, you got hurt. If I had been able to stop Shisui, he never would have gotten to you, and you would never have believed I was dead." You never would have had to taste the terror of being utterly alone twice.

Sasuke was silent, and they drank their tea. He looked troubled, but Itachi couldn't find any words to ease whatever trouble was eating into his little brother. He didn't even know what was bothering Sasuke. Itachi poured himself another cup of tea and blew on it, waiting for Sasuke to make another move. Itachi had gotten very, very good at waiting. He'd done it for years.

"So you're just going to keep training so you can protect me from Shisui?" Sasuke asked.

"For the moment," Itachi paused. "You'll pass me sooner or later, Sasuke. Then, I won't be able to protect you. Then, my goal will be to not be a burden to you, and be capable of protecting myself from anyone who wants to hurt you by going through your weaker brother."

Sasuke frowned at his tea. He looked at Itachi with hard eyes. "No, if I can pass you, then you have to let me take care of you. If I get better than you, then you can stop fighting, and _I'll _protect you. If I can't protect the people I love, then I won't be strong enough. You shouldn't have to fight because of me."

Itachi sat in silence, and the words Sasuke spoke had an echo of Naruto in them. It wasn't a bad echo, not at all. Itachi hid a smile in his cup, and he nodded. "All right, but until them, let me take care of you, Sasuke. I'm your older brother after all."

Sasuke nodded and burbled something into his tea cup. He looked a bit mortified that he's done that, and Itachi smiled. "And now, little brother of mine, we should both be heading to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow."

Sasuke stood to place his tea cup in the sink. "We do?"

Itachi nodded. "Since your sensei and my sparring partner is out of commission, I thought you and your team could help me with my sparring. If I take all three of you on at once, it should be almost as good as Kakashi." Itachi placed the pot and his cup in the sink. He would wash up in the morning.

Sasuke's cheeks puffed out in an old sign of annoyance. "Heh, yeah right! You wouldn't even be able to take two of us on. In fact, we'd better stick to one-on-one so you don't get hurt, Nii-san. I could probably beat you myself."

They were walking down the dark hall back to bed. Itachi whirled around, fingers flashing out. The skipped across Sasuke's forehead, despite his dodge. Itachi smiled and turned away. "You've still got a ways to go, Sasuke."

Before Itachi got three steps Sasuke grabbed him in a grappling hold, and they both hit the floor in a painful lump. Itachi was laughing too hard to properly break his fall as Sasuke demanded Itachi take his jab back. Itachi reversed the pin and Sasuke tried to black his eyes with an elbow.....

It was a long time before either of them got to bed.

* * *

**A/N: There will a third part focusing on Shisui!**


End file.
